Every man needs a place he can go to get away from it all.  A place where he can be himself and disregard all of the cultural requirements of manners and social skills.  Men of previous generations called this the "wilderness" but since that sounds like too much work I've taken a closet in our house and stuffed it with a few essentials.  And by essentials I mean a computer with wireless, roasted peanuts, and a remote that I have no idea what it controls.

It is in this precious space that I get to be myself or simply hold a conversation with a friend on the phone without my child in the background informing me over and over again that he "did a poopy" and that he needs help.

Some may ask why women don't have a "space" to call their own.  I would argue that the requirements for a woman's cave would be so great that we would have paid down our national debts before beginning on the construction.  That isn't a slam against women by any means.  Women are complex creatures and maintaining an artificial habitat for them is like designing something for extremely expensive tropical fish.  If the PH balance of the water is not just so they all die and clog the filter system.

Men are like hamsters.  As long as the wheel still appears to be going somewhere we're pretty happy to be running on it.  Throw in a few shiny objects and tasty pellet treats and we're good to go. 

The entire purpose of the man cave is to give a tiny ounce of man-freedom to some guy whose life consist not of saving Nakitomi plaza from a group of German terrorists (Die Hard) but one who lives a relatively small existence of which the pinnacle of the work day is when the vending machine drops TWO Twix on accident instead of one which is usually also on accident (don't get me started on those stupid machines).

When I was a child I was able to build elaborate forts made of old scraps of plywood, tarps, duct tape, and rusty nails which extended into the sky almost 3 feet.  Today, I pretty much have the same handyman skills and couldn't really see myself getting my girth through a 2 foot door so I can enjoy the ample 3 foot high living area.  When one considers the space taken up in my house by children, children's toys, children's accessories, and less important things like a kitchen, bathroom, and laundry room I don't think it's too much to ask for one little closet.

I called my wife from work just to see how her day was going being the sweet husband that I am:

Me: How are things today?
Em: Horrible. Will is a basket case. Jack is being totally disobedient and keeps getting in trouble and has spent most of his day in timeout. My back is killing me (due to pregnancy). Because of all that our house is trashed and I have no idea what were going to have for dinner.
Me: Other than that is everything okay? (yes, I really said that.)
Em: There is no "other than that"!  This is what I do!

I'm going to stop here and give husbands a couple of pointers that I learned from this little interaction we had and the follow up that evening:

1. Women are capable of solving their own problems.  She's not telling you because she wants you to solve it. She's telling you because she wants you to listen.
2. Don't screw up the listening part by talking.
3. Make dinner.  And when I say make dinner I mean get a pizza or something.  Don't try to impress her by cooking.  Impress her with your mastery of the oven timer and the time you now get to spend with her listening.
4. Just let her get it out.  Even if it appears that she's asking you to kill your own children.  There's a high probability that she doesn't really want the children dead, she just feels like it.  Once again, the listening thing comes in handy here also.  Don't try to correct her by pointing out how it's illegal to kill your children or that the shovel isn't in an accessible part of the garage right now.
5. Mint chocolate chip ice cream.  It covers a multitude of your children's transgressions.

I've seen my wife's job and I don't want it.  I love my children more than anything in this world but I can't do what she does.  I know it.  She knows it.  My children know it.  Moms aren't magical people.  They have limits.  Even though it goes against my very nature sometimes the best I can do is simply listen.

Source

Most know that I work with computers for a living.  Almost my entire adult life has been spent making a computer or a network of computers do something for someone.  As such many people assume that I, as a nerd embrace every new cool thing that seems to debut every few weeks or so.  It's a fair assumption considering most techs are gadget people but it doesn't really apply to me.

I see an interesting trend in our society today where technology is given a blessing simply because it's technology.  To elaborate, it's almost as though if something is new and shiny it must also somehow improve our quality of life automatically.  We place such an emphases on technology that improves our life that we don't stop to determine if it in fact may hinder our natural interactions.

There is no doubt that we have far more methods of communication available to us than ever before and these methods are quickly making local issues global ones.  The technology we have today largely spans nations, cultures, and ideologies in mere seconds.

Studies have also shown that the average person today has fewer close friends than a generation ago.  Ironically, it appears as though somebody can have hundreds of "friends" on a social network yet almost no close friends in reality.  As a culture it appears we have almost redefined the word friend to a point of abstraction that bears little resemblence to a living, breathing person.

So the questions are: Does technology always improve our communication with others?  Deepen our relationships?  Do you use technology has a means to communicate with others or is it simply a form of self-exhibitionism?

I plan to touch on these topics in future posts but comments are welcome.

So my wife was preparing a snack for my son who is 3 1/2 yrs old.  She grabbed some organic peanut butter from the fridge and was struggling to get it in a form that was pliable enough to put on toast.  For some reason that particular jar of peanut butter had very little to no oil left in it leaving a dry, clay-like lump in the bottom of the container.

After trying to heat it up in the microwave and it still not being soft enough to spread my son looked at her and said "This is ridiculous."

Apparently my children listen closely when I'm extremely frustrated with the peanut butter.  It didn't take Emilee long to determine where he got it from.

In a way I'm like a Chia Pet... I'm always a little bit bigger and hairier than last time you saw me.

I hate running.  I mean I really hate it.  It's a miserable process and about as much fun as listening to a weird family member slowly recall their childhood.

Having said all that I've decided to take up running/jogging again for several reasons.  First, I don't really hate running all that much, it's exercise I hate.  I need to get back in shape and return to good health.  When I had set out to determine what type of exercise I wanted to commit to I quickly discovered that I simply hate all exercise.  That's what got me to my current state in the first place.  A few years ago I started jogging in the morning before work and the first week was about as miserable as it could be.  I started slowly and increased my activity over time.  By the end of a few weeks I felt a lot better and actually got to the point where I enjoyed my runs and looked forward to them.  This is where I would like to be again.

Second, I need to do something where I have a goal to complete.  I do better when I have something to aim for and I believe I will enjoy running more when I have a purpose.  Therefore I plan to train for small events like 5k's and anything else I can sign up for.  It's easier to do something when you have a way of tracking progress.

Third, running is cheap.  It doesn't cost a lot to get started nor maintain.

While I imagine I will still hate running/exercise there comes a point when you just need to do what you need to do.  Ever since I started working from home I almost completely quit all forms of regular activity and have since gained a bunch of weight.  This simply can't continue and nothing is going to change unless I act so here goes.

Have you ever noticed people who do something for a living but neglect their profession at home?  Like the mechanic who drives an old beater car, the carpenter whose house is always under construction, or the car salesman who isn't smarmy when off the lot.  That's what it has kind of been like for me.

I've done some form of web development/design since I got my first computer which in computer years was a long time ago.  Even in human years it might still be a long time ago.  I've had several personal websites over the years and when the web moved to blogs I had one of those also.  Then life began to slowly creep up on me and my time dedicated to those things on a personal level began to decline.

It takes time and energy to write something.  Even if it's nothing at all it can still take a certain amount of thought that frankly I don't always have.  This seems to be inversely proportional to the number of children I have.

So, I let it slide then eventually removed my stagnant blog wreckage offline where nobody would remember it.  One thing I have missed however was the writing process.  While it does take time it is carthartic and motivates me to continue communication beyond my everyday interactions.

The last time I had a blog I developed contacts from all over the world.  Some of those blogs I still keep up with today.

Another aspect of blogging that encouraged me to start again was the fact that the process of writing out my thoughts causes me to reflect on them in a way I normally wouldn't.  It's kind of like talking your way through something.

So, recently I've decided to commit to blogging once again.  Hopefully this won't be so quickly delegated to the bit bucket.